What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What are the differences between fuzzy, intuitionistic, and paraconsistent logic? Which one is considered the most useful and why?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Have you ever had sex with sisters?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why do I sometimes hear full conversations when I am alone?

Make Nazis afraid again!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Why do some people dislike rap and hip hop music despite there being poor quality music in every genre?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Is it true that all men want a woman who looks like an Instagram “model”?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

How come Jesus died on Friday and rose on Sunday? That's not 3 days and three nights.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Have you ever forcibly sucked someone’s dick?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

☆ what's the thing that made u fell in love with your bias?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Ive been pretending to be okay and acting as normal as possible, but Im actually completely heartbroken after a recent breakup. Its painful and really affecting me, to the point where I cant concentrate at work, Ive lost my appetite, I cant sleep, and It feels as if my whole world has been turned upside down. I loved him so much. He said so many cruel things to me and it made me realize he must not have loved me the way I loved him, or he wouldnt have said such horrible things. How do I handle the heartbreak and why cant I accept that he didnt love me and just forget about him?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Do you think the constitution and laws should be taught in school?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

TEXT:

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What role did China play in the signing of the "Beijing Declaration" between Fatah and Hamas? What other information is worth noting for talks among Palestinian factions in Beijing?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …